An update

Sunday July 17, 2005

So. It's been about two weeks since things went down and I think I'm finally wrapping my head around it all. I know most of you still reading this have already heard this because I've called everyone I know who wasn't there and told them what happened. But the more I think about it the more questions I have. To be honest I've been losing sleep over this. At work I can barely focus and after I just go on walks or drives to clear my head. Things have been kinda like a ghost town and it's just been really weird. I know some friends were going to visit home from school for a few weeks this summer and it seems like a bunch of people are canceling their plans.

The Friday before the Fourth was the last normal day. Autumn came over for a few hours while Rach and Becks went to see a concert in the city. She and I watched a couple movies we rented and when Will got back from work we played Sorry and ate pizza. (Will moved in with us for a few weeks after he got out of the hospital because he had some issues with his place, but he's found a new apartment now and moved out a couple days ago) When the girls got home, Becks was tired but she and Autumn drove back to their house.

Later in that weekend I drove out of town for reasons some of you know. I got pulled over for speeding but the guy was nice and didn't give me a ticket or look in my trunk. I did drive by that stretch fo highway but now nobody stops at it really anymore. Except I did see a family taking photos and I stopped actually and asked them about it but they're from out of state and were just on a road trip to visit their grandma in her new house a few towns over. The dad had grown up in the city and wanted a picture of the sign to remember it but I didn't recognize him. I took the day off because I expected it to take longer but it didn't so I just spent the rest of the day chilling.

But the Fourth was when things got bad. I was at the big park for the picnic and mostly it was normal. Everyone had their little grills and tents and blankets. I was playing catch with my neighbor's kids because I used to babysit them before they moved to live with their dad during the school year in Texas or something. But of course things got bad pretty quickly. These drunk guys were being assholes to some of the people at the picnic and a certain PTA president got really nasty and started berating people about "letting Zombies into the festivities". That was pretty stupid because we're not in some horror movie. Most of the people with kids packed up and left, so we got Autumn out of there pretty quickly. But I talked to people after and it sounds like it got pretty bad and there was a fight. I don't know anyone who was directly involved, but I heard it was rough.

Basically I've just been helping Will move since then, taking extra shifts at work, and sticking around the house because stuff is closed. Even though I'm at work all the time, we have even less customers because no one is leaving the house. Which is why I have to work the extra shifts in the first place, because Pat quit. I don't know how to feel about all this. I've tried to put hands to keyboard to type this out before but I'm only just starting to accept it enough to wrap my head around. I kinda understand why people are antsy, but it's just not that big a deal. It's weird that people I've known all my life are acting this way. Like my old band teacher is fighting with the woman who restocks the shelves at the grocery store at night. I feel like I don't know anyone I know, I guess.